Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
