so explain again why im purple
no
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
