he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
