Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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