This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I could fuck to npr.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
