We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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