who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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