there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
