Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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