Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
