I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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