i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
