Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
