We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Actions speak louder than pants.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
