my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
