Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
