UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
