I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
