Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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