Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
