remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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