We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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