mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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