I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
