Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
