ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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