we have officially lost it.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
