My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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