come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
