Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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