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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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