I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
