I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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