Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
