She's JV to your varsity
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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