ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
