I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
