u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I deserve this hangover.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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