Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
