no, he came in my armpit
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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