yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
