i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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