end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
