as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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