Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
