A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
