I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
