He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
3 2 1 whiskey
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
