My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Randomize
