we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
