Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
