Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
