Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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