I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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