fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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