Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
