A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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